When a family member is toxic

 

Do you have friends that feel more like family than your family? Is blood really thicker or is it the value of the relationship in your life?  We let go of friends if they become toxic in our life. Why do we struggle with doing the same with toxic family?

Alanon has a saying “lovingly detach”. If a sibling, cousin etc is is someone who just brings in negativity do you feel bound to endure it because they are “blood”?  It is a hard decision to separate from a toxic family member and there may always be family events that have you in the same room. But to disconnect from active involvement to me is the healthy choice.

For a long time I thought just putting boundaries around the relationship would be enough. But toxic family members find a way to get through.  Ultimately I decided life is too short and there are too many amazing people in the world to have in my life there is just no room for anything else.

How do you define family? And what strategies do you employ to deal with a dna relative that comes with toxicity?

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